Saturday, 1 October 2016

Does saying YES to all situations help anxiety

DOES SAYING YES TO ALL SITUATIONS HELP  ANXITEY.


This is a something that has being going through my mind recently. And it's something that really confuses me to a certain extent. One thing that shocks me is people with a mental illness being pressurized into saying yes to please others even if they feel at there worst. Is this healthy or damaging or a in between situation. 
As a long time sufferer I've been in plenty of situations were I thought I had to say yes and please that other person in case they got frustrated at me always refusing.

I think it's very damaging to the person suffering from anxiety to have that pressure put on them. not only do they have that worry of controlling there anxiety they also have that worry of living up to that persons expectations. I really wanted to find out how many people felt that they were expected to say yes to situations even if they new it would affect there anxiety. A whopping 360 people voted. I really wanted to be surprised at the outcome of the vote. But unfortunately the outcome was what I expected. 81% of people said that they felt expected to say yes.  



When I saw the outcome my mind was trying to come terms with the answer on why this happens so often. I really went through different emotions on why this was the case. It's hard enough going through something that ruins you as a person but to have people not support you when they should I think shocks me the most. Like I said I was going through on what was the most likely case on why people act in this manner. I came up with a few of my own thoughts eventually. One of the biggest things (Well I hope) is that they think they are helping and with doing that it's going to help in some way. The other thought I had was much more sinister. They like the control it gives them of trying to force people in situations that they don't want to do. And it just gives them the power they crave. 

I guess that was one of my most fears of entering a relationship with being mentally ill was they would thrive on my illness and take it upon themselves to make me "Better" or in many cases much more worse. It's a massive struggle but I know it happens and have been friends with people that have that happen to them.   

I guess the point of this post is that gentle encouragement and doing helpful things won't make a person feel like they have to say YES. At things they want to say no at. I find it very raw thinking about people going through this. It's 2016 And people shouldn't be doing this at all. They should respect that person and there needs not make them feel added guilt. Because the guilt and the uselessness that person feels is just about enough for that person to handle.

Be respectful to peoples wishes. Gain there trust and let people do things in there own time. Don't make there mind up and don't force things on them that they don't want to do. Because in hind sight that will only make them worse. I know that you might want to see the world or go to a "simple" date to a restaurant. But just because it's simple to you don't assume it is for everyone else.

I know this goes on in the work place and I've had my fair share to deal with that department but that deserves it's own post

The relationships you have with people are so important. But if they are behaving in that manner then they don't really deserve a place in your life. They don't bring anything good to you but guilt. I know it's hard getting rid of people and it's even harder when it's your family. But sometimes it's the only way if there still doing it after you told them how you feel.



4 comments:

  1. This is a great post & a really interesting topic to think about. From my personal point of view, as a sufferer from anxiety, I often find saying YES helps ME. My anxiety is very much me at war with my own mind but when a situation plays out, I'm absolutely fine and I really surprise myself. So for me, saying yes to things and going place or trying new things is really, really beneficial. Obviously that's not the case for everyone and I understand that but sometimes the "pressure" from other people often helps me too. Because deep down, I KNOW I can do these things. It's sad to hear so many people feel pressured in a negative way though xx

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    1. Thanks so much for the reply. I totally agree with what you're saying. Everyone is different. But saying yes sometimes is the best idea if your feeling up to It.
      Thanks for commenting
      xxx

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  2. This is such a fab post, and it's really important work you're doing by reaffirming to people that it's okay to let go of people or situations that are hurting you. I know I've had immense pressure put on me to do things because people didn't understand and didn't want to put the effort in to understand, and it set me back so much in my progress xx

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    1. Thank you so much, It's so wrong to apply pressure on people especially if it sets you back. So unfair
      Thanks for commenting
      xxx

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