Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Life.

Its 1.15am and my mind won't shut down. Nothing new there. I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about my life and where I'm at now. When I was younger I never thought I would be in this situation that I'm in. Of course when your younger you think things just magically happen and when your a adult everything pan's out the way you want it to. But in reality it doesn't . there's so many things I regret that I wish I could change. But unfortunately I can't. In 23 days I turn the grand age of 22. I think that's what got me thinking. 22 and the situation I'm in right now does not mix. I've got myself in this situation. Of course there's things that I can't help like my mh. I'm a very negative person and I really think that's why I don't change because I set myself up as a failure before i even start. That mindset won't help anyone. I guess you could say I'm stuck in my ways. Everyone see's what I'm capable of but me. Things need to change. And yes I'm one of those people who say it and don't do it. But they really do. Seeing people my age achieving there life goals and fighting hard for what they want. And there's me who moans about how rubbish everything is but don't do anything to change things. I think for along time I thought things would change by me doing nothing. I guess I learnt the hard way. Something definitely has changed in me. I don't want to be a no body.  I want to be someone. I want to make myself proud and happy. I have life goals and dreams  and there's no a reason why I can't achieve them. Life is way too short to be miserable all the time. I've been waiting for this switch to flick on for ages . only I can change me. I know its not going to be easy but I'm  more determined then I've ever been before. Its definitely time for me to start living. I'm going to start of very small then aim for the higher things. I wasn't born to live like this I was born to make a difference. This is a personal Post too me to look back on when I'm having one of them days  I'm so glad that little light bulb has switched on. Its definitely time for me to start getting my life back on track and start enjoying life.

5 comments:

  1. Well written reflective piece. Good luck to you - you've taken the first step xxx

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  2. I love this. I had the same kind of realisation last year and finally now nearly at the even grander even older age of 23, things are finally starting to fall into place. Keep smiling lovely, everything you want to happen will eventually if you want them enough.

    Sophs xx
    The Sopho Diaries

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  3. I used to be very much like this as well. but now i am slightly over a year older than you, and what I feel now is you cannot have big dreams and aspirations they are just not compatible in everyday life. Sure you can achieve big things in your life but its definitely the day to day smaller achievements that count. Things take time. You need to build on the smaller things have a goal and reach it.A few months ago I finished my degree, it took me the standard 3 years but I didnt learn everything in a day, and even when you are in the position of having everything quite nice, youre always going to doubt previous choices. Basically nothing in life is perfect.

    One of the best things that I done was to get rid of the big question marks inside of me, and stop questioning everything, and just went for it. So what if you get a degree and end up hating the career choice you made a few years down the line, start again plenty of people live on minimum wage. So what if you want to go travelling and hate it come home, make new friends go else where. So what if you think people dont like your actions- truth is they probably don't care. To get more out of live you just need to go for it :)

    Enjoy yourself finally!!!

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